Istanbul Hash House Harriers - Run 1262 Hash Trash

Little Weed writes "Run #1262 11th April 2010

Hares: Limp Wrist, Döner Rabbit and Just Nicky

In welcome contrast to run 1261 around the back streets of Kadikoy, 1262 was set in the freshness of the extensive pine forest beyond Sariyer. Breezy April weather promised a brisk run, although getting there was anything but, with Sunday traffic crawling the entire length of the Bosphorus. “How about a scenic drive along the waterfront?” had clearly been the inspiration of a few thousand good folk an hour or two earlier. Not much of it was heading to Rumeli feneri, though, and as the open road wound uphill past 'Çay Evleri' and 'Lokantasi', farm houses and chickens, the afternoon grew colder and the forest loomed ominously ahead. Hare Limp Wrist had promised us a ‘real’ run with all those Hash essentials of mud, garbage and dog shit. Disappointingly, there wasn’t much of either to be seen at the meeting point; just the usual accumulated debris of broken bottles, tin cans and burnt mattresses. GM Doormat having brought the circle to order (of sorts), acting RA Miss D Link presumably as a show of respect to a late, late 70’s icon led the warm-up with mass pogoing. Thickening clouds overhead were pulled to the ground, hats and wigs allocated and Plonker’s chocolate eggs did the rounds (Easter being a moveable feast). Hash Trash duty was thrust upon Little Weed, and LimpWrist demonstrated four types of marks - although the difference between across (X) and back arrow (-) remains a mystery to all but himself. True to his word there was rubbish, and piles of it: Limp Wrist was determined the pack should see, smell and trample through rubbish: to revel in it. Three extensive falsies, cunningly worked into the run by the simple expedient of sending the runners off in the wrong direction, led the pack past fetid piles of junk, mouldering carpets, broken furniture, noisome excrement and more burnt mattresses. It was on the third falsie that a splinter group comprising Goose Humper, K9, Lili Marlene and Little Weed unwittingly found the in-trail and ran the greater part of the route in reverse. Sustenance, in the form of two bottles of wine, had been concealed at the hold and it did not take long for sharp-eyed, junior hashers to locate it. While it may not have travelled particularly well, it did contain alcohol (France11½% - Germany 12½%). It was a peaceful and tranquil wet hold, out there in the remoteness of the forest and in the absence of Dick Martin and/or F’ckin’ Heidi. To the background of tireless bickering over which junior should take credit for having found the red, and with a warm sun on our backs, a vigorous Father Abraham was celebrated. The return leg took the pack through more fine terrain, following a gentle valley down to a river bed and then up into open fields. It should have been led by the splinter group who had already travelled this route but, ably misled by K9 at the front, all four went way off course. It was Rudiger who sniffed out the trail and an hour and a half after leaving the chariots the runners, some bloodied from forest undergrowth, returned, shortly followed by the walkers. In the face of an icy wind the sun, gradually winning its battle against theclouds, provided a degree of warmth to the post run gathering. A circle was convened in which visitors Miss Manners (ex Ankara) and SkinnyDipper (ex Reading) and virgins (the term increasingly vergin’ on the ridiculous) Patrick, Martine & kids were toasted, amid the usual nonsense. A spectacular baptism for Just Nicky, involving much flour and plentiful Efes, was performed and he shall henceforth be known as Lost Boy (…. else U shall invoke the wrath of the Hash). The biting wind was persistent, though, and no one hung around for long but retired to a rather bare Temperance Hotel towards Sariyer for kebabs and tea.
Attendance: Goose Humper, First Aids, Miss Manners, (new to Istanbul, formerly Ankara) Miss D Link ,Doormat, Plonker, Lili Marlene, Limp Wrist (hare), Doner Rabbit (hare), Lost Boy (Just Nicky, hare), Little Weed, Express, K9, Schumichael, Happy Ending, Wet Lips (arrived during circle), Skinny Dipper (visitor from Reading hash), Rudiger, Karine Harrison, Naomi Harrison, Eliana Harrison, Patrick (Karine’s brother), Martine (Patrick’s wife), Their 3 kids --

Benedict Tucker
Mathematics Department"